What Pole Dancing Can Teach You About Confidence (Even If You’ve Never Tried It)

Published originally for the Tales of Trades blog, a series where I interview professionals in rarely mentioned fields to bring out fresh narratives.

When I think of pole dancing, two things pop into my head (and no, I’ve never tried it myself): you’ve got to be confident enough to wear those bold outfits, and you need the balance to hold your body steady up there on the pole. Funny thing is, those two, confidence and balance, sound a lot like things we all need outside the pole too, don’t they?

I only realized this after meeting Linh, the founder of Hanoi Pole Mania. She started pole dancing at 25, which is considered “late,” and not for the reason you might expect. She wasn’t chasing abs or aesthetics, she just wanted to gain some weight and build muscle. Meeting her in person, without the pole and without the performance outfits, she wasn’t what I imagined at all. In fact, she told me she still doesn’t feel that confident.

That threw me a bit. Because if anything needs confidence, surely it’s pole dancing? But after 8 years of practice and 5 years of teaching, Linh admits she still gets nervous before every class. She worries she’s not flexible enough, or good enough. And on top of that, she feels pressure to make sure her students have a good time and leave happy. It’s not just the physical side, like injuries that stresses her out, it’s the responsibility of making sure every single student feels included.

Something that really stuck with me was how much “confidence” ties into body image. She said new students often cover themselves up in long clothes at first, because they’re insecure. And she respects that. Her words were something like: “I don’t have to push them to feel confident. Eventually they’ll realize that being too covered up limits their ability, because skin contact with the pole is what helps you grip. In class, no one cares what your body looks like anyway. You’ve got thighs, I’ve got thighs. We all have bodies.”

And that perspective hit me. Confidence isn’t about suddenly feeling perfect, it’s about easing into self-acceptance and learning to see yourself without constant judgement.

Of course, even Linh has moments where she looks at her own body and feels unsure. Beauty standards are everywhere, and none of us are immune. But what I loved was how she flips it: instead of seeing it as a trap, she sees it as freedom. “The media throws all kinds of beauty ideals at us, from toned, tanned athletes to pale, delicate K-drama stars. They’re all considered beautiful. In the end, you get to choose which standard, if any, works for you.”

Outside of pole dancing, she also co-runs a restaurant with her husband. They’ve been working together since uni, and though clashes happen, she sees them as necessary. “Without conflict, there’s no change, no growth.”

Naturally, I asked how she manages to juggle it all, and her answer floored me. She doesn’t see herself as “too busy.” For her, busy just looks different for everyone. Coffee catch-ups with friends, spa days, looking after kids, that’s busy too. She’s simply chosen to spend her “busy times” on work and passion projects, even deciding to hold off on kids until she’s 35 so she can focus fully on this season of life.

And then she said something that really stuck: “After all these years of working and studying, I’ve never felt as relaxed as I do now.”  Imagine that—running two businesses, teaching 5-hour pole sessions, and somehow feeling at ease. But it made sense once she explained it: when work and passion overlap, the line between “job” and “hobby” disappears. You don’t drag yourself out of bed to go to work, you’re just doing what you love (and yes, it happens to pay the bills).

For me, the big takeaway of this coffee chat is this: confidence and balance aren’t just things you need to get up a pole, they’re what you need to get through life. And seeing that play out not only in Linh but in her students, people juggling careers, families, and still showing up for their passion was simply inspiring.